Hints from - and to...

I grew up reading "Hints from Heloise" in the local paper. The Asbury Park Press, to be exact. When my grandfather sold his house, we found a brown paper bag full of columns that my grandmother had cut out. Reading them, I often thought, 'how silly, we've always done this, why are people just finding this out?'...and then realized that we had ALWAYS done that...since Nanny read it in Heloise.

I still read the column, now written by the original Heloise's daughter, now in the Somerset Daily American. One of last week's letters was simply printed by Heloise, with no response from the columnist. The woman wrote, and I quote:

"Dear Heloise: Here is an idea I tried: My husband brought home a bottle of orange-colored hand soap. My kitchen is blue and white, with red-apple accents. My solution: A few drops of red food coloring, and I have red soap now!
Thanks for all your hints and help.
_J.K., another Texas homemaker"

Really??? I'm wondering if J.K. stands for Just Kidding - really??? Your freaking hand soap can't be orange? Because it clashes with your blue and white and red-apple accents???

Wow...glad I did not write this column, my answer would probably have been something like, "You need an appointment with your therapist to deal with your anal-retentive behavior." Heck, I'm surprised her solution wasn't to repaint the kitchen or throw out her red-apple accents and buy orange-orange accents. Or orange-tangerine...or tangerine-orange...

If you've been to my house, you know, I'm thankful if I can find the hand soap refill...be it clear, orange, blue, chartreuse. My towels don't match - they function. My bathroom - well, it finally (almost...) matches, I have a little bit of touch-up painting to do, need to mop and get the new rugs down...by the way, it's dusty pink and white, with blue accents. And I have dark green, red, and beige bath towels. And light green frogs. Because I can.