Give that Man a Ham Sammich

Yeah, I know, it's already fall...

But this past Spring/Summer, Hal and I finally sat down and watched "24". All of it. We hadn't watched it when it was in its first run, for a variety of reasons. Mostly, we were in seminary when it started. Really difficult to decide to watch a show that runs the way "24" did, when you didn't know from term to term which nights you'd have classes, and frankly, studying Hebrew and Greek (not to mention theology, ethics, et al.) made it difficult to watch anything that required thought.

So, when we found "24" on Netflix, we decided to go for it. We decided to watch a season at a time, then take a short break - because after a week of action and violence I would wake up dreaming of being involved in shoot-outs. So, yeah, we'd take a break after every season. We would watch 2-3 episodes a night, a few more on Sunday afternoons. Sometimes, on our Fridays off, we'd watch as many as we could if we were near the end of the season. And yeah, we got hooked. It wasn't an either/or thing - both Hal and I liked the show.

There was one thing that bothered me. A lot. Kiefer Sutherland is quoted as having said, "There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy and go to the bathroom." (taken from IMDB). I would add, Jack Bauer never EATS or DRINKS!!!

I really thought that Jack was going to get breakfast, or at least coffee, in Season 8; but then, as he's standing at his kitchen counter, Rene gets shot by a Russian sniper. Jack, having had nothing to eat or drink, having been shot, stabbed, beaten, maybe tased, gets shot at again, now carries Rene to the hospital, then goes out, kills a bunch of bad guys, and saves the day. Because, of course, he's Jack Bauer.

Now, I understand, we don't want episode 5 of a season to be Jack Bauer waiting to be seated at a restaurant, episode 6 of him being served drinks and waiting for his steak (well-done, he sees enough blood when he kills bad guys) and baked potato (butter, sour cream, or both?) to come, and episode 7 of him cutting and eating his steak, waiting for dessert (Chocolate cake - I don't see Jack as a creme brulee kind of guy), and paying the bill.

But once, just once, could they not have whipped through a drive-thru on way to commercial break, opened with a different scene, then cut back to Jack wiping the mustard (ketchup?) off the corner of his mouth, and saying, "Damn, that was a good burger and chocolate shake!"

Just once, could Chloe not have come to Jack in the (infirmary/holding cell) of CTU and said, "Jack - here's Dave's sandwich. From the fridge. In the break room. He was killed in (the ambush at the safe house/the ambush on the motorcade/the attack on CTU) {because you KNOW the other CTU agents were useless.} I thought you might be hungry. Because you never eat. I hope you're not Jewish. Or Muslim. Because it's ham. and cheese. together."

Of course, Kiefer, if you ever want to kill off Jack, Chloe would be the one to poison his food. Because he trusts her. And she's been above reproach. But nah, she'd never go for that...unless someone was holding Morris or their baby hostage.