Making Root Beer out of Lemons

When I was doing my Clinical Pastoral Education at Shadyside Hospital in Pittsburgh, I had a patient I'll just call J to respect their privacy.

J had cancer. J had been a nurse, and knew that the normal outcome of their particular strain of cancer was death. They had tried several experimental drugs, but the treatments had little effect.

J's parents had died, only sibling had 2 children and lived several hours away so visited rarely, and J's "significant other" had ended their relationship. J was, shall I say, slightly bitter. I don't fault J for that. J felt as though they were alone in the world.

One day while I was speaking with J, they remarked, "You know, if one more person tells me 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,' I'm gonna slug them. 'Cause I think I'm doing a pretty good job of making root beer." I didn't respond verbally, but I did raise my eyebrows at J. J closed their eyes, and said, "Well, that's my problem. I'm trying to make root beer out of lemons, and I should be making lemonade." After talking about it for a little while, and letting J come to terms with things, I asked J if I could use this story as sermon material sometime, and they approved.

Because aren't we all like that sometimes? We get into a situation - sometimes life-threatening, like J's cancer, sometimes just annoying. We take what we have at our disposal - but instead of using what is available to help us, we do the wrong thing with the right resources, then wonder why things aren't getting better.

Sometimes the situation is not going to improve - J died of the cancer a few months after this conversation. But J's attitude toward facing impending death without the support system of family or "significant other" changed. J's bitterness never left completely, but it was tempered with the realization that being miserable wasn't helping, and some of the bitterness at being alone dissipated , as J got out of the room to interact with other patients on the ward more often.

Sometimes, though, the change to making lemonade instead of root beer (or simply letting the lemons rot, unused at all) changes the situation we are in, and allows us to improve things. Unhappy with your job? Find a way to change the things at the job that make you unhappy, or find a new job, or a totally new career path.

Caution: don't try to make others make lemonade with your lemons. Unhappy in your relationships? Change yourself - they are YOUR lemons, not the other person's. Don't tell someone that they need to do this or be that for you to be happy - happy is a choice you make for yourself, as is bitterness.

And just so you know, I have a glass of root beer (with a shot of lemon juice) every year on J's birthday, because it happens to be the same date as mine.