Today on msn.com, I read an INTERESTING article about different methods of stress-reduction. I would link it, but it's already gone. One of those ways was, and I do not lie, having a snake massage. Yes, that's right. Lie partially unclothed while non-venomous snakes of various sizes and weights crawl over your body. The problem, the article said, was that the snakes are not trained to target specific muscles.
No, I think the problem is that THERE WOULD BE SNAKES CRAWLING ON MY BODY! I don't care if they are venomous or not, THEY ARE SNAKES!!! What, are they kidding me???
Now, I readily admit that when I was a teenager I wanted a python. I was prepared to raise the mice and rats to feed it. I thought it would be cool. The problem was the cost. My mom told me that I could not afford a snake. I told her that I had researched it - that I could afford the snake, the aquarium and "fixins" for inside and on top, the cages to raise first mice, then rats as the snake got bigger... But them Mom told me no, I could not afford to have a snake - because it would mean having my own apartment and there was no way I was in a position, at that age, to sign a lease, let alone afford the rent and utilities. *sigh* Mom won out. I was bummed at the time, but as I look back...WAS I NUTS??? The answer is, perhaps, yes, I was. Blame it on teenage hormones.
So what am I trying to get at here? Just to let you all know - if I ever tell you I'm stressed - please, please, please - do not invite me for a snake massage. Please. Thank you.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Easter Signs and Wonders
Around this time of year, probably around 12 years ago, I went to a local grocery store in my hometown which is now out of business. I was a little perturbed at the difference in 2 signs in the window, but did my shopping and then went to my car. Then I went back to the store and asked to see the manager. Why? What were the two signs? Well, one was a picture of a leg of lamb on a plate, with a goblet with a Star of David, and read, "We would like to wish all of our Jewish friends a Happy Passover." The other one was a picture of 3 bunnies in some flowers, and read, "Happy Easter. Closed Easter Sunday."
This was before I was a pastor, and probably before I was in seminary. I was annoyed. I wrote a pointed letter to the corporate office (because I knew it was not the store manager's fault - he only put up the signs that corporate sent him). I told them that I was offended because one referred to their Jewish friends, with a symbol of Judaism, while the other did not mention the word Christian, or friends, or have a symbol of Christianity for what is the most important holiday for Christians - rather, it had a picture of 3 rabbits - a pagan symbol for fertility. Had they pictured chocolate bunnies (something that could have been purchased at the store), or a plate with a slice of ham and a goblet with a cross, or referred to Christianity, I would not have taken any offense at all. And, I asked them to please not tell me that they had 3 bunnies to symbolize the Trinity. I got a letter back from them, apologizing for the offense, they didn't mean to offend, and they would never do it again. Their December signs, and their signs the following Passover/Easter season were much more equitable in the recognition of the HOLIdays of Judaism and Christianity being HOLY days.
As I started writing this, I was eating a Peep. Why do I tell you this? To let you know that I don't have great heartburn with chocolate bunnies, Peeps, jelly beans, or egg hunts at Easter. As a matter of fact, when I get done writing this, I'm going here: www.shop.oldmonmouthcandies.com
to see if I am still able to order their jelly beans this year.They have wonderful candy shows in their warehouse this time of year and at Christmastime, and I miss going. It was a big treat for us to go during Lent to choose what candies we would get after Easter. And we never got to sample any until Easter Day(that is, not until we were old enough to go buy our own). For a child (and a teenager...and an adult) it was a place of glorious smells, colors, and anticipation.
Do we anticipate Easter itself though? The first disciples were terrified. Jesus was dead and buried. It's easy for us to look backwards and tell them to come out of hiding, not to worry, it'll all be ok. But they didn't have the advantage of our perspective. One had betrayed him, another denied him. They either witnessed or heard about Jesus' arrest in the garden. They may have been in the crowd that chose Barabbas for release. They saw him crucified - if they had dared be in that crowd. He was dead, gone.
We, though, have the perspective of time. We know that death lost. Our Lord won. I wonder, though, if we have forgotten what we know. Have we looked the other way while our Holy day is becoming a secular holiday? Have we focused more on the hidden eggs than the risen Lord? Have we paid more attention to the chocolate and the pretty dresses than to the resurrection and triumph of Jesus Christ?
Let us use these last few weeks of Lent - ok, let us use these last days of our lives whether it be tomorrow or a hundred years from now - to focus on the reality of Easter. Jesus is not dead, He is risen!
This was before I was a pastor, and probably before I was in seminary. I was annoyed. I wrote a pointed letter to the corporate office (because I knew it was not the store manager's fault - he only put up the signs that corporate sent him). I told them that I was offended because one referred to their Jewish friends, with a symbol of Judaism, while the other did not mention the word Christian, or friends, or have a symbol of Christianity for what is the most important holiday for Christians - rather, it had a picture of 3 rabbits - a pagan symbol for fertility. Had they pictured chocolate bunnies (something that could have been purchased at the store), or a plate with a slice of ham and a goblet with a cross, or referred to Christianity, I would not have taken any offense at all. And, I asked them to please not tell me that they had 3 bunnies to symbolize the Trinity. I got a letter back from them, apologizing for the offense, they didn't mean to offend, and they would never do it again. Their December signs, and their signs the following Passover/Easter season were much more equitable in the recognition of the HOLIdays of Judaism and Christianity being HOLY days.
As I started writing this, I was eating a Peep. Why do I tell you this? To let you know that I don't have great heartburn with chocolate bunnies, Peeps, jelly beans, or egg hunts at Easter. As a matter of fact, when I get done writing this, I'm going here: www.shop.oldmonmouthcandies.com
to see if I am still able to order their jelly beans this year.They have wonderful candy shows in their warehouse this time of year and at Christmastime, and I miss going. It was a big treat for us to go during Lent to choose what candies we would get after Easter. And we never got to sample any until Easter Day(that is, not until we were old enough to go buy our own). For a child (and a teenager...and an adult) it was a place of glorious smells, colors, and anticipation.
Do we anticipate Easter itself though? The first disciples were terrified. Jesus was dead and buried. It's easy for us to look backwards and tell them to come out of hiding, not to worry, it'll all be ok. But they didn't have the advantage of our perspective. One had betrayed him, another denied him. They either witnessed or heard about Jesus' arrest in the garden. They may have been in the crowd that chose Barabbas for release. They saw him crucified - if they had dared be in that crowd. He was dead, gone.
We, though, have the perspective of time. We know that death lost. Our Lord won. I wonder, though, if we have forgotten what we know. Have we looked the other way while our Holy day is becoming a secular holiday? Have we focused more on the hidden eggs than the risen Lord? Have we paid more attention to the chocolate and the pretty dresses than to the resurrection and triumph of Jesus Christ?
Let us use these last few weeks of Lent - ok, let us use these last days of our lives whether it be tomorrow or a hundred years from now - to focus on the reality of Easter. Jesus is not dead, He is risen!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
The comfort of the trains
I did not grow up near trains. I never heard the lullaby of the train whistle or the engine or the wheels on the tracks growing up.
The last three places where I have lived, though, I've learned to love the sounds of the trains going by. It started in Summerville, SC. Through the woods at night, I would hear the trains at bedtime. The whistles were my clock. They did not come through often, but they came through on schedule, every night. And the second time I heard the whistle, I was ready to let myself go to sleep.
We lived closer to the tracks in Nebraska. Not close enough for the windows or dishes to rattle, but close enough to hear the train all the time. The town we lived in was on the main line of the Union Pacific Railroad, and we had 60-80 trains go through a day. Driving across town became frustrating at times, especially when they closed the viaduct for repairs and we no longer had a way to go over the tracks. But again, the sounds of the trains became a comfort, a normalcy.
We now live in Meyersdale, PA, which is on the main line of the Chessie system. We are a block and a half from the tracks. When we first got here, I was a little concerned, as the trains mainly come through at night. And the whistles are LOUD, being less than 2 blocks away. But, again, it became a lullaby. It's odd at night to lie in bed and not hear the train come through. It's been muted, since the church put new windows in the parsonage. I know that this summer it will again be loud...and I look forward to it. Oh, yes, sometimes I will wake up when a particularly long blast is sounded. But sometimes it just becomes a part of whatever I'm dreaming.
The last three places where I have lived, though, I've learned to love the sounds of the trains going by. It started in Summerville, SC. Through the woods at night, I would hear the trains at bedtime. The whistles were my clock. They did not come through often, but they came through on schedule, every night. And the second time I heard the whistle, I was ready to let myself go to sleep.
We lived closer to the tracks in Nebraska. Not close enough for the windows or dishes to rattle, but close enough to hear the train all the time. The town we lived in was on the main line of the Union Pacific Railroad, and we had 60-80 trains go through a day. Driving across town became frustrating at times, especially when they closed the viaduct for repairs and we no longer had a way to go over the tracks. But again, the sounds of the trains became a comfort, a normalcy.
We now live in Meyersdale, PA, which is on the main line of the Chessie system. We are a block and a half from the tracks. When we first got here, I was a little concerned, as the trains mainly come through at night. And the whistles are LOUD, being less than 2 blocks away. But, again, it became a lullaby. It's odd at night to lie in bed and not hear the train come through. It's been muted, since the church put new windows in the parsonage. I know that this summer it will again be loud...and I look forward to it. Oh, yes, sometimes I will wake up when a particularly long blast is sounded. But sometimes it just becomes a part of whatever I'm dreaming.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Government (Waste) Spending
Today in the mail we got an envelope from the U.S. Department of Commerce. I'm sure you did, too - if not, you will soon. Inside was a letter. To resident. Telling us that in one week we'd get our Census form in the mail. There was one line, in 5 other languages, on the bottom.
First - HOW FREAKING MUCH DID IT COST TO SEND THIS OUT?????? To everyone in the country?????
Second - why only 5 languages? And why was only one line translated? Who chose which 5 languages? And frankly, how can they determine the languages, since we're supposed to only have to answer how many people live in the house, we're not supposed to have to answer any other questions, like ethnicity or ancestral background. Tell that to the people that sent out the last Census. I was not happy that we were one of the houses chosen to do "the long form" (read "the entirely too intrusive, many of the answers which they were seeking being none of their darned business, form")
I know, tell you how I really feel.
Mind you, this reminds me of other government waste. I worked for the Department of Defense in my early adulthood. When I left, I cashed in my retirement so that I could pay for my first 2 years of college. So, first, I received a letter telling me how much money I would receive. Then I received a letter telling me that I would receive a check. Then I received a check. Then I received a letter making sure I had gotten the check, and what to do if I had not. The problem was, when I cashed it in, it was figured wrong. SO, I got a letter telling me that the calculations were wrong, and that I would receive a letter telling me the correct amount. Then I got a letter telling me the correct amount - they owed me SIXTY-FOUR CENTS. Then I got a check for 64 cents. Then, I got a letter making sure I had gotten the 64 cent check, and what to do if I had not. All the additional mailings cost, I'm sure, a bit more than the 64 stinking cents. I could have lived without it.
So...why do we put up with this wastefulness?
Hal says he'll miss me while I'm in solitary confinement for posting this. I'll miss him too.
First - HOW FREAKING MUCH DID IT COST TO SEND THIS OUT?????? To everyone in the country?????
Second - why only 5 languages? And why was only one line translated? Who chose which 5 languages? And frankly, how can they determine the languages, since we're supposed to only have to answer how many people live in the house, we're not supposed to have to answer any other questions, like ethnicity or ancestral background. Tell that to the people that sent out the last Census. I was not happy that we were one of the houses chosen to do "the long form" (read "the entirely too intrusive, many of the answers which they were seeking being none of their darned business, form")
I know, tell you how I really feel.
Mind you, this reminds me of other government waste. I worked for the Department of Defense in my early adulthood. When I left, I cashed in my retirement so that I could pay for my first 2 years of college. So, first, I received a letter telling me how much money I would receive. Then I received a letter telling me that I would receive a check. Then I received a check. Then I received a letter making sure I had gotten the check, and what to do if I had not. The problem was, when I cashed it in, it was figured wrong. SO, I got a letter telling me that the calculations were wrong, and that I would receive a letter telling me the correct amount. Then I got a letter telling me the correct amount - they owed me SIXTY-FOUR CENTS. Then I got a check for 64 cents. Then, I got a letter making sure I had gotten the 64 cent check, and what to do if I had not. All the additional mailings cost, I'm sure, a bit more than the 64 stinking cents. I could have lived without it.
So...why do we put up with this wastefulness?
Hal says he'll miss me while I'm in solitary confinement for posting this. I'll miss him too.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Feline Theology, Part 1: Cats = Sin?
In seminary, we had a professor who, in a class on world religions, spoke of Zoroastrianism as having two distinct sources of good and evil. The good god produced good things - like rainbows and puppy dogs, while the evil god or spirit created (and here he paused and his voice deepened)...cats.
I do not believe that cats are inherently evil. Black cats don't freak me out. But I do see the parallel, at least for me, between my relationship with my cats and my relationship with sin.
You see, I'm allergic to my cats. Have known this for some time. And, yet, I have not one, but two. I am not as allergic as some of my friends or relatives, who cannot come to my house to visit. But I AM allergic. I sneeze, my nose runs, and I have difficulty breathing. When I am stupid enough to touch my eyes after I have been petting my cats (which is quite frequently), my vision is disturbed. Oh, I can take an antihistamine or a decongestant, and I can wet a washcloth and hold it over my eyes, or use eyedrops. But wouldn't life be simpler for me if I avoided having cats in the first place?
Aren't we the same with our favorite sins? Overall, I'm sure we try to avoid sin...at least the big ten. But don't we try to rationalize some of our sins like I rationalize having cats? After all, I've never ended up in the hospital because of them. I can take a pill. I can keep them off my bed (ironically enough, a place where many sins take place because our society has convinced us that sex outside of marriage is no longer sin). I can wash away my clouded vision.
Don't all sins cloud our vision, though? The first time that we do something that we know we shouldn't - the first time we do something that we know, either through our study of His word or through our guts, is displeasing to God - don't we try to rationalize it? Either by comparing our sin to someone else's sin that we perceive as worse that what we did, or by saying we only did it once...isn't that clouding our vision as to what we have done? Romans 6:23 reads "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (ESV). I did my undergrad work at a Roman Catholic women's college, where I had to disagree with Father Norman (r.i.p.), who in a class on religion spoke of mortal and venial sin. He had to explain that to the Presbyterian in the back of the room. But Romans doesn't say the wages of some sin is death, the wages of others, eh, not so bad.
I could get rid of my cats. Ok, probably not, unless my allergies get to the point where I cannot have a cat in my presence.
More importantly,though, I cannot get rid of my sin. I will not ever be free from sin in this life. But I can make a conscious effort to stop doing things that I know are displeasing to God. Like clean up my language. And my attitude. I can choose to not put myself in positions where I will be faced with choices and temptations that lead me to sin.
Thankfully, I don't have to get rid of my sin on my own. God has provided a way. Which is a good thing. Because otherwise, none of us would be here.
I do not believe that cats are inherently evil. Black cats don't freak me out. But I do see the parallel, at least for me, between my relationship with my cats and my relationship with sin.
You see, I'm allergic to my cats. Have known this for some time. And, yet, I have not one, but two. I am not as allergic as some of my friends or relatives, who cannot come to my house to visit. But I AM allergic. I sneeze, my nose runs, and I have difficulty breathing. When I am stupid enough to touch my eyes after I have been petting my cats (which is quite frequently), my vision is disturbed. Oh, I can take an antihistamine or a decongestant, and I can wet a washcloth and hold it over my eyes, or use eyedrops. But wouldn't life be simpler for me if I avoided having cats in the first place?
Aren't we the same with our favorite sins? Overall, I'm sure we try to avoid sin...at least the big ten. But don't we try to rationalize some of our sins like I rationalize having cats? After all, I've never ended up in the hospital because of them. I can take a pill. I can keep them off my bed (ironically enough, a place where many sins take place because our society has convinced us that sex outside of marriage is no longer sin). I can wash away my clouded vision.
Don't all sins cloud our vision, though? The first time that we do something that we know we shouldn't - the first time we do something that we know, either through our study of His word or through our guts, is displeasing to God - don't we try to rationalize it? Either by comparing our sin to someone else's sin that we perceive as worse that what we did, or by saying we only did it once...isn't that clouding our vision as to what we have done? Romans 6:23 reads "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (ESV). I did my undergrad work at a Roman Catholic women's college, where I had to disagree with Father Norman (r.i.p.), who in a class on religion spoke of mortal and venial sin. He had to explain that to the Presbyterian in the back of the room. But Romans doesn't say the wages of some sin is death, the wages of others, eh, not so bad.
I could get rid of my cats. Ok, probably not, unless my allergies get to the point where I cannot have a cat in my presence.
More importantly,though, I cannot get rid of my sin. I will not ever be free from sin in this life. But I can make a conscious effort to stop doing things that I know are displeasing to God. Like clean up my language. And my attitude. I can choose to not put myself in positions where I will be faced with choices and temptations that lead me to sin.
Thankfully, I don't have to get rid of my sin on my own. God has provided a way. Which is a good thing. Because otherwise, none of us would be here.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Clothes Shopping
Ok, so I hate to shop for clothing. First, I'm cheap. How cheap, you ask? I don't like to pay $5 for something at the thrift store. Two of my all-time favorite thrift stores are almost across from each other on Rivers Avenue in North Charleston, SC, just off 526. Community Thrift is CHEAP - I could get clothes for the grands for 25-65 cents. Yup. And I could buy dresses for myself for $1.99. Name brand dresses, some designer, some with original tags still on them. Across the street and down the road - Goodwill Outlet. $1.49 for a POUND of clothes. Y'know, silk does not weigh much.
But cost is not the only reason. Have any of you considered the names of lines of clothing for women? SAG Harbor. Yeah, remind me where I'm headed...thanks. Faded Glory...am I that far gone?
I thought I was doing well a few years ago. I found a new line. Ok, it was Sears or Kmart - remember, for me, that's spending a lot on clothes. Bold Spirit! That's me! I'm not faded, or sagging - I am BOLD!!! Until the first time I washed it, that is. Tagless Tee. Some of the lettering peeled off after one wash. Alas, I was no longer Bold Spirit...I was...old Spirit. At least I wasn't old spi..t (until like the 3rd wash).
And Hal wonders why I get grouchy when I go shopping.
But cost is not the only reason. Have any of you considered the names of lines of clothing for women? SAG Harbor. Yeah, remind me where I'm headed...thanks. Faded Glory...am I that far gone?
I thought I was doing well a few years ago. I found a new line. Ok, it was Sears or Kmart - remember, for me, that's spending a lot on clothes. Bold Spirit! That's me! I'm not faded, or sagging - I am BOLD!!! Until the first time I washed it, that is. Tagless Tee. Some of the lettering peeled off after one wash. Alas, I was no longer Bold Spirit...I was...old Spirit. At least I wasn't old spi..t (until like the 3rd wash).
And Hal wonders why I get grouchy when I go shopping.
Hello!
Well, I've finally done it - broken down and started a blog. Not that I don't have other stuff I should be doing. Like, right now, I should be fixing supper. Or trying out my new washer and dryer (I've only had them since Wednesday). Or filling out the paperwork for substitute teaching or foster care. But no, I'm sitting here typing this. Look for this blog to change looks as I figure out what I'm doing. Which will probably take a while. But I'm going to go finish fixing supper now.
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